Watching Kuroshitsuji
by Snoopcatt
Summary: ("Bocchan, this apparently is something called a laptop.") What happens when Ciel receives a laptop with all the Black Butler episodes in them? All the characters get "invited" over to Ciel's mansion to watch the episodes. Main characters: Ciel, Sebastian, Grell, Alois, Claude and William T Spears.
1. His Butler, Able (Part 1)

**I know I'm one of those authors that go back and forth on stories, never updating. I'm sorry for that. I will try to update this as much as possible. The characters are ooc. Bear with me.**

**START STORY**

Ciel was looking out his window wondering what to do next. All of a sudden a huge silver thing smashed down in front of him. It was thin, shiny, and had an apple on the top.

Ciel did the first thing anyone would do, scream,

"AAAAGGHHHHHH! SEBASTIAN!"

Sebastian rushed as fast as he could to Ciel's room.

"Bocchan?"

"SEBASTIAN!" yelled Ciel. "Check what that is! IMMEDIATELY!"

"Yes, my lord."

3 hours later

Sebastian dusted off his hands. Ciel couldn't help but look impressed.

"So, what is it?"

"Bocchan, something called a laptop. These are downloaded files right here." One of them was labeled VIEW ME FIRST.

"Bocchan, you open that file by using this." Sebastian clicked on the left button of the laptop mouse.

Ciel looked at the screen of the clicked the play button.

As the video began to play, they stared at the screen in shock.

"Whaa," went Ciel.

"The hell." finished Sebastian.

On screen:

_The video opened on a picture of Ciel floating in the air horizontally._

" Well I sure remember that," said Sebastian licking his lips. Ciel bitch- slapped him.

_Sebastian was telling Ciel the consequences of making the contract._

"You sure were annoying," growled Ciel.

_Feathers were floating everywhere and a dark figure appeared._

"That's ME!" said Sebby looking all happy.

_A raven appeared._

"Oooh, I sure looked sexy!" said Sebastian.

"_Just grant my wish!" the onscreen Ciel yelled._

"Brat," muttered Sebastian. Ciel slapped him again.

_Suddenly, the entire screen was filled with feathers and a silloutte of Sebastian appeared. Then, the theme song came on._

"Hmm," thought Sebastian. "Bocchan, why don't we let everybody watch this!"

"Well, why not?" sighed Ciel. Sebastian walked away to tell everybody to come to Ciel's room

"Wait what!?" yelled Ciel yelled after Sebastian. Too late.

_**Approximately 2 minutes, 27 seconds, 34 milliseconds later**_

"Bocchan has something to tell you all," explained Sebastian.

Mey Rin, Finni, Bard looked up at Ciel with huge round eyes.

"Erm, our lives have been on a show and-"

"WOW!" said Finni. "We're FAMOUS!"

Ciel facepalmed.

"Bocchan, would you be kind as to NOT slap yourself. I enjoy looking at the pretty face of yours."

"Be quiet or else I'll slap that face of yours, too."

Sebastian just rolled his eyes and snickered.

"How did we end up on a show?" asked Bard.

"EXACTLY!" said Ciel.

"AM I IN IT TOO?" yelled a voice that Ciel very much disliked.

Alois skipped in holding hands with Claude and Hanna. Claude and Hanna didn't look so pleased.

Sebastian snickered at Claude's green face.

"SEBASTIAN!" screamed Ciel. "YOU INVITED THESE BUMBLING IDIOTS?!"

"Oh they are not bumbling idiots dear Bocchan. They are guests."

"Yeah!" said Alois. "You hear that, Ciel? Even your stupid butler says it too. We are GUESTS! Right, Claude?"

Claude was uncounsioes on the ground.

Alois frowned, then smiled. "Right, Hanna?"

Hanna was also down.

"My my, your hands are poisonous," said a voice that Ciel also didn't like.

William T Spears, Ronald Knox, and Grell stepped into the room.

Sebastian paled.

"SEBBYYY!"

William just rolled his eyes as he watched Sebastian being attacked by Grell.

"My love for you runs long and deep like the Thames!" procliamed Grell.

"Yes yes that is all very nice now SHUT UP," groaned Sebastian, covering his ears.

"Hey!" yelled Viscount Druitt. "Let's finish watching this!"

Ciel unpaused it. By that time the theme song was over and the screen showed Sebastian pouring tea.

"Oh! My Bassy pours tea, too! What is there that he cannot do?" said Grell dreamily.

_"Scone." the on screen Ciel was saying._

"What rude manners," frowned William.

_"The man I have, manufacturing stuffed animals at that factory in India?"_

"DID SOMEONE JUST SAY INDIA!?" Soma and Agni burst into the room.

_Ciel was being dressed by Sebastian._

"You can't even dress yourself?" gasped Lau.

"I wouldn't be talking. Your sister Ran Mao barely even wears any clothes."

_"This scent... Earl Grey?" asked Ciel._

"You can just sniff tea and know what brand it is?" said Ronald with his eyes wide. "That's amazing!"

"Oh, what a beautiful mind he has," said Claude. "Shining, pure, amazing!"

_"Yes, from Jacksons of Piccadilly," explained Sebastian._

"Oooh, my Sebby knows where the tea was manufactured! How smart and sexy!"

Sebastian sighed.

_Ciel grabbed a dart and hurled it at Sebastian._

"Oh no!" cried Grell.

_Sebastian caught it between his index and middle finger._

"AMAZING!" gasped Druitt. "It is like the the majestic gray wrinkled elephant! Who catch peanuts with their trunk!"

"Are you comparing my Sebby to a peanut!?" yelled Grell.

"No, no! Of course not! I was comparing him to the elephant!"

"DIEEEE!" screamed Grell.

_The dart hit Finni's head causing blood to splatter out and Finni to jump up and down._

"IT'S UUSSSSSSSSS!" cried Mey Rin, Bard, and Finni.

_Sebastian opened the doors._

"There goes my Bassy!" shrieked Grell.

_"Ho ho ho," went Tanaka._

"Ho ho ho!" said Tanaka with his ever humongous adorable smile.

_Sebastian suddenly exploded in anger, the backround behind him turning to lightning crackles and his eyes turned into white slits._

"Claude why can't _you_ be dramatic and theatricy like Sebastian?" sighed Alois. "Looks like I'm going to have to punish you. 5,000,000,000 push ups! NOW!"

_Ciel was walking up the stairs and paused to look up at a picture of his parents._

"Ciel's father looks a bit like Sebastian," said Agni.

"Are you saying tha- no. I'm not even going to think about it," moaned Ciel.

_"The silver is polished to a mirrorlike gloss. The tablecloth is brand new and wrinkle free... I've removed all the bruised blossoms from the master's favorite white roses so that they look beautiful and I've prepared lavish amounts of all the carefully chosen ingredients for the cornerstone of good hospitality: dinner. THIS IS THE FIRST CLASS HOSPILTALITY OF THE PHANTOMHIVES," said Sebastian with opera music in the backround._

"Ohh! So sexy! That deep lavishing voice makes me tremble to the very core!" cried Grell.

Sebastian frowned and kicked Grell out the window.

_"We'll provide above and beyond service!" said Bard._

"Uh oh," said Ciel.

_"There was raw meat on the counter... so I figured I'd cook it with uh a flamethrower."_

"I knew it!" said Ronald.

**PART 1 of episode 1 OVER**

**Part 2 of episode 1 coming soon**

**The making of these chapters is hard. I have to rewatch all the episodes and stuff so yeah. Don't flame me. I know I didn't put so many Alois, Druitt, Claude, or Hanna parts. Plz bear with me. Thank you!**


	2. His Butler, Able (Part 2)

**Okay, so far so good. Just have to finish 2 more parts and I'm moving onto Ep 2.**

**Thx for all the support and views!**

Ciel groaned. He remembered when Bard had used that flamethrower. He still had bad nightmares about it.

"_Everyone, listen carefully to what I am about to say," said Sebastian._

"What!? What's he gonna say!? yelled an excited Grell. "Surely anything that has to do with my Sebby is wonderful!"

"_We'll manage with this," Sebastian said, holding up Tanaka's tea._

"See, Claude! Sebastian can do ANYTHING! What about YOU?" growled Alois.

_A carriage pulled by horses came rumbling down the road._

"It's that stupid Damiano person," muttered Ciel.

"_Ohh," went Damiano as he saw the Japanese rock garden._

"CLAUDE! WHY CAN'T YOU DO THAT!?" screamed Alois.

"_Prodigioso! Wonderful! What an elegant garden!" exclaimed Damiano._

Sebastian looked extremely proud.

"_We would like to serve you dinner. Please wait inside the manor until it is time to dine," Sebastian said to Damiano._

Ciel sneered and chuckled evilly.

"Did you kill him?" asked Alois.

Ciel's evil grin just spread bigger across his face and:

"MWA HA HA HA HA HA HA!"

Sebastian stared and wondered if his bocchan had gone mad.

"Oh, his laugh. So beautiful. So amazing," whispered Claude, hugging himself.

"Claude are you high?" asked Hanna.

"Yeah Claude," said Alois. "I mean, 'Oh his laugh. So beautiful, so amazing" is there something wrong with you?"

"His humps," mused Claude.

"HIS HUMPS!?" yelled Alois.

"I heard humps!" said Grell. "Does this have anything to do with my Sebby?"

Sebastian clapped his hands for attention. "I want to assure everybody that I do NOT have protruding humps."

"AWW MAN," went half of the people in the room.

"_A Phantomhive butler who couldn't do this much isn't worth his salt," Sebastian said to the three servants._

"I don't understand that," frowned Lau.

"I know!" said Ronald excitedly. "It's a secret code! Salt means dick! What Sebastian means is if he can't have IT with Ciel, he doesn't have a dick!"

"But why would he tell that to the three other servants?"

"He wants to boast about his big dick!"

The entire room flooded with questions aimed at Sebastian.

"How big is it Sebby!?"

"Can I do IT with you?"

"How bout a threesome, right here!?"

Sebastian ran out of the room.

"Oh well," Grell shrugged and chased after Sebastian.

"_The progress of spinning technology in East India is truly astonishing," Damiano was saying to Ciel._

"What IS spinning technology?" asked Ash.

"It's this," said Lau and he spun Ash around 40+ times.

"_We're also developing a top notch staff…"_

"Dats dah boo shit," said Ciel.

Upstairs, Grell's scream was heard as Sebastian kicked a hole through Grell.

_"You are bewitched by the eyes of the dead," Ciel was saying to Damiano. _

Ciel's evil smirk grew bigger.

"Oh, Ciel honey, you are spending too much time with Sebastian. Your smirk is twisted the wrong way! I'll teach you how to smirk correctly!" Claude said with twinkling Pedo Bear eyes. "Maybe you can drop by the Trancy household sometime and we can have FUN!"

*SMASH* Claude's head was bashed in by Sebastian who suddenly rushed back downstairs when he heard Claude.

_"Now is the perfect time! We'd like to expand our company and secure a labor force-" Damiano was saying._

_Ciel leaned back. "It's your turn," he said, ignoring Damiano's words._

"We can become best friends! Me and you Shieru!" sqealed Alois. "We're both beautiful in evil!" *SMASH* Alois was smashed into a wall by Sebastian.

_"So, if I might ask for your support in the form of another 12,000 pounds," Damiano was stil trying to talk business with Ciel._

"What boo shit," growled Ciel.

"So, what did you do to him?" asked Ronald.

Timber, Canterbury, Thompson leaned in and whisepered.

"I heard he burned him in the oven," Timber whispered.

"Ha ha BuRn!" laughed Thompson.

"Maybe we can burn Alois in an oven,too," said Canterbury.

"Don't think Claude or Hanna will like that much," muttered Thompson.

"What are you whispering about?" asked Will.

"None of your business," yelled Canterbury.

"THEY TALK!" said Lau. "Why, I thought they were mute!"

*cue Lau's scream as triplets beat him to death*

**Dat is dah chp 2. Part 2 of episode 1. There are 4 parts per episode. There will be extras in between every episode. Ex: Sebby discovers Nyan Cat on the laptop. I think I might need a beta reader. If you won't mind, if you can also proofread my school homework. It's okay I'm not asking you to do my homework. LOL. If you would like to become beta reader plz PM. Just be wary I might ask you to also proofread my writing homework from time to time. Cause I make so many mistakes... I'll also proofread your writing homework if you want, um... eye for an eye tooth for a tooth. Well, just PM me and we'll discuss this later. Don't forget, if you want to become beta reader just PM me. Thx for reading!**


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